Here are some of the things I learned today:
Trying to perform a one handed ollie with a reverse kick up, even without a skate board on your living room floor is indeed harder than it looks. And much more painful.
Left over Halloween candy is a nutritious and appropriate breakfast for a growing child.
A jeep cherokee will not start after leaving every dome light on over night. Even if you happen to turn off the radio before you try turning the engine.
Answering your telephone when it rings by asking the question, "Hello, is Munkay there please?", confuses the caller. Continue with, "When do you expect her home then?", aggravates.
No matter how high of heels I wear, I am not leggy model material. Although it does somewhat give me the illusion of height, it is overshadowed by the clumsy factor.
Four pounds of cheese will not kill a dog. Just make him gassy.
The term "upper cut" is incorrect. It is apricot. As in ,"Mom! K1 just hit me with an apricot to my gut!".
Other corporate wives expect their hubbies to go on golf seminars in warm climates without them.
It is official, once a lad reaches the age of 13, he is a man. Men NEED video games to protect their manly status.
My neighbor really does know it all.
A nice piece of haddock from Iceland, when properly prepared will remind me of Professor Batty. If served with a simple dill sauce for waves, it will resemble a "Swan". That is the name of the post that turned me on to Flippism. Cooking fish to resemble foul upsets people, they just can't see it as art.
Wearing your tightest pair of jeans will not distract attention to the hair you have not had time to wash in 2 days.
I can, when challenged, fit an entire kit kat candy bar, in it's wrapper, sideways in my mouth without breaking it.
Trying to remove an entire kit kat candy bar from my mouth causes severe gagging and anxiety.
Gassy dogs will eat what ever I spit out.
Most people are stupider than they look. Munkays twice as much so.
Yelling obscenities will not get your battery charger to work. It will infact only embarrass the cheese lovin dog.
Hubbys will think your candy wedging ability as "hot".
That was today's pearls of wisdom. I hope you are not now stupider for having read this.
B.S., (thats like p.s. for postal script except the B is for blog) A munkay cannot be taught how to use a spell check.
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
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7 comments:
...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH...haa..ha.ha. (takes a deep breath) OK, now that I've stopped laughing, - oh no! ...hee..hee...HAWHAWHAWHAW...(gasp)...one funny Munkay makes Batty a happy boy...
Wearing your tightest pair of jeans will not distract attention to the hair you have not had time to wash in 2 days.
*No, cause then if you have "nether region" hair people just notice it*
Yelling obscenities will not get your battery charger to work. It will infact only embarrass the cheese lovin dog.
*it doesnt work when the car dies in Mcdonalds drive thru either.*
ok, just to clarify, is that the 4 finger kit kat or is that the new ONE HUGE finger KitKat?...I like them both but the big hummer is magnificant...did I just say hummer?..uh oh, I bet hubby will think thats hot too...I better stop while I am ahead........oops ahead..geepers I am having an orally fixated day today..damnit munkay..its all your fault
OOPS I was so distracted that I posted last comment under anonymous...silly me, its me ..
"No really, look at it- see how I used roasted red pepper there for it's bill and the flat parsley as a wing? You gotta see it now. Oh just shut up and taste it then you blind maroon. NOO IT IS FISH" gaaaah
Amanda, I hope you got your McNuggets before you car stalled and you just sat there and ate forcing the people behind you to push you out of the way till help came.
Moon, you naughty girl, it was the regular 4 sticker, but now you have given me a new goal to work towards. Maybe that will even be my new years resilution. In 2005 I will work my way up to the king size bar and join a freak show.
No Damn it! It died before the pay window.
Brilliant as always!
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